Saturday afternoon.


The weather is very warm, outside my rm is very noisy. I want to get out of this house, for once. I want to go swimming, to calm myself down. I want to disappear from this world, for a while, to really think through and clear all my knots. Just a sudden thought, I want to get out of the city myself, provided i'm given such a choice. Everything's changing, whether is it direct or indirect, sudden or expected. Family, friendship, relationship, dance, school.


Like what people always say, it's part of growing up. Tiring, but I'm trying my very best to adapt everything. Just give me some more time, things will get better. ^.^


anyway, photos taken on the Thursday performance.
















Close friends. The ones we've spent the most amount of time together since secondary school days
Close friends were the ones we spent all our birthdays with.
Close friends have drifted apart.
Close friends do not make attempts to initiate meet-ups anymore.
Close friends find meet-ups a bother.
Close friends find one another a bother and eyesore.
Close friends take you for granted.
Close friends are too busy making another group of 'good friends' to be bothered with you.
Close friends......
are not close friends anymore.

and you are the only I can't afford to lose..

moving on, letting go something that I used to hold on for 3 yrs.
sour.


I wasn't feeling good at all. hurt and upset, and I bet he feels even more. I had been fooling everyone, these few months. I had been hurting my love ones these few months. Seeing them worried, yet I never do anything.
sorry.


but last night. well, a decision was made. ha! funny isn't it? I had numerous long talk with different people, and it was the first time I had such topic of conversion with my parents. People were scolding me how silly i am, asking me to grow up. So, is such decision consider grow up?
If I have a choice, I don't wish to do such thing at all. It's hurtful..


I wonder how's him? He will be fine, right? someone please assure me that. I'm very worried about him, I want to care for him, I want to support him, I want to feel his warmth in the night, and his scent is on my bed. I have friends and family to support me, but he don't.
someone, anyone just tell me that he will be fine..


I will move on, so do you. I really hope this is the best for both of us. I hope one day you will contact me, as a friend.


p.s i will remember you.

I was back from Malaysia this morning 7am. :) well, supposed to come back on Thursday.


Let's recall....


Pulled myself off my bed yesterday morning 5am. Bathed, prepared and final check on everything and off my house. Went out to the street with students and office staffs waiting for bus. The sky is still dark. It remains me the times I woke up early in the morning during my primary and secondary times. Hopped on to a cab and off to another location for the coach to Malaysia.


During the journey there was just eating bread and cookies, sleeping, listening to music, staring at the nice scenery, and watching movies.. Nothing much..


Reached genting in the noon. Brought some nice food before checking in the hotel. After which, Bijun and I headed to the Outdoor Theme Park and my parents went casino. Well, the Outdoor theme park was boring. I doubt that I will go back again..


Dinner time. Settled at a food court with my parents and bijun. The dinner was nice. :) Went back to the hotel room, unpacked a bit, washed up and off to shopping. First started off at a comestic shop. Targeted on a purple nail polish and pink lip stick, and I planned to buy at a much later time. We were strolling around and finally settled down at a random fashion shop. Bijun was trying on some nice tops and I received a call from my mum that my dad was feeling unwell...


Everything is fine now. Dad is in the hospital now for a more detail check up. Mum is in her room, and me now blogging. Brother was informed at a much later time when everything was settled. The whole period of time when the moon is out was.... Ha! I dont know how to describe. This whole period of time, my emotion was very..... Ha! I'm speechless again..


ok ok, photos first..




















The whole 12 hours was unexpected. My dad was feeling very unwell, mum was very worried, we were running and rushing here and there, my mum and I argued with each other, we complained on how bad the service was given, I was in the ambulance holding my dad's hands, argued with the doctor, breaking down, rushing back to singapore in the middle of the night....


Things are fine now... :)


to awesome..
I know I said it a lot of time, but still I'm very sorry for this whole trip. and thanks.. thanks for giving me so much support. thanks for numerous times of telling me to stay strong. thanks..


p.s I need to be strong, and I know I will..

Flash back to 7th of April~


Bestie's 19th birthday celebration at East coast park for picnic. Oh well, she always have wild ideas on how to celebrate her birthday.


Woke up early in the morning and rushed back to TP to claim back all the costumes money. I'm really pleased that I managed to get back all the money, including the amount i fork out for others. ^.^ The whole thing was delayed and took a really long time. I remembered I haven't even prepare a single thing. Panic of cause, baking the brownie need some time too. Afterall, everything was done in time. ^^

After all the baking and packing, went over to bijun's house to take the cake and sandwiches. After which, we took a bus down to parkway for another small grocery shopping at FairPrice and headed over to East Coast Park!


It was just the perfect weather for pinic!










Cake cutting!








Not to forget, birthday girl must have some nice treat isn't it. We thought of many many funny and really hilarious ideas. So, we thought probably just using the cake. Well, I know it's boring. But there's nothing we can really do though..



=DDD


Finish most of the food and cakes, we last minute decided to go pub! Well well, I suggested that actually. Just think about, it was 8pm. East Coast park was very dark, we weren't hungry. Slacking around? Boring! so so, PUB! =DD







We settled down at Double C's pub. Well, I have been there quite a number of times, and it's the only pub i ever went. haha! The boss was really friendly. He treat us the waterfall and I guess the drinks were cheaper too after knowing that it was bijun's birthday..









4 words to describe the night: crazy, wild, fun and messy! Well well, shall not explain in details.=P But still, I'm sorry... :)




Just for info, I will be in M'sia for 4 days! will update again very soon!! =DD


Note to awesome
Promise no more crying nights. Promise I will be strong. Promise I will be independent. Promise I will settle down my emotion and think what I really want.
and, thanks for the chat at night.. :)