Close friends. The ones we've spent the most amount of time together since secondary school days
Close friends were the ones we spent all our birthdays with.
Close friends have drifted apart.
Close friends do not make attempts to initiate meet-ups anymore.
Close friends find meet-ups a bother.
Close friends find one another a bother and eyesore.
Close friends take you for granted.
Close friends are too busy making another group of 'good friends' to be bothered with you.
Close friends......
are not close friends anymore.


i quoted this from somebody's blog. i totally agree. it's really hard to find a real and longlasting close friend. one close friend is more then enough. just one true friend, a friend that will always understand and comfortable with.


i miss...the days of crazying around after school. the days of staying in the classroom and discuss where are we going, the days at tm staircase, the days of planning birthday surprises, the days at our first chalets, the days at obs, the days........


somehow, i'm feeling really scared now. O level result is coming out really soon. means, we are entering a new environment soon. on top of that, we are growing up. planning of birthday surprises and presents seems so unfamiliar. how i wish the time could stop at 2005. the days in 2005 is the best. i really dont mind been a childish student, at least i know i'm having lots of fun, lost of joy with my friends.


i was thinking.... am i a good friend? what kind of person am i? am i weak or strong? am i a irritating person? what do people think about my character?


i'm a spoilt girl, that's what i want to be. i'm a selfish person. i'm a crybaby, who always cry even over a small little problem(i bet my bf will know this the most). i mind a lot of people's comment on me. in other words, even though i though that i did something correctly, once one person, just one person say i'm wrong, i will believe him/she. sometimes, or i should say often, i will get confused or broke down. i'm a person who mind a lot on promise. sometimes i seriously dont understand. if you cant be sure that whether you cant make it, just say "i will consider first". YES is a very strong and heavy word. or i shoul d say it this way.. YES is a happy word but NO is a sad word. for example, accepting something is a good thing compared to rejecting something. oh well, dont seems to make any sense. however, i know what i'm typing..


to be honest....
i'm emo-ing now,
i'm sad now,
i'm angry now and
i was crying just now.


this is me. and this is what i'm always doing when something unhappy happened. i was supposed to be angry, yet i'm emo, sad and crying. this is my reaction when i get angry. apparently, i will always do this on any kind of emotions except happy.


accept it or not, it's up to you.....


and now, i cant sleep..........