there's a lot of things circling around and around my head. which one should i update first? i have no idea.


once again, i cried on friday night. the main reason, i dont know. or maybe i know, just that i refused to accept that fact.




i should be studying now. i should be locking myself in my room doing some revision. but i end up here. staring at the computer screen, thinking which should i type.




i hate who am i now. bcos of who i am now, i can't concentrate on my studies and i'm letting dear very worried about me so much.




i hate i hate, i hate my uselessness. i hate myself of being not clever. i hate myself of not having a IQ of 140. i hate myself of not being as smart as my bf. i hate myself of unable to speak good english. i hate myself of unable to concentrate on my studies. i hate myself of unable to become a good dancer. i hate myself of making my dear pissed off. i hate myself as i always get so depressed easily. i hate myself as i'm listening to really sad songs now. i hate myself of not studying now. i hate myself of wanting to eat eat eat. i hate myself when i'm growing fatter now. i hate myself of doing something 4 hours ltr. i will surely hate myself after doing that thing 4 hours ltr.

current mood: low, very low.


i know i should be sleeping now. i know i should not be blogging but rest and try my very best to fall aslp. BUT i can't, i simply can't.




out of the sudden, i want to isolate myself.


this feeling is scary, a feeling which i have never feel before. it's not just getting hurt over something/someone. But is the feeling of lose,confusion and loneliness.


now, my eyes are full of tears.




i can feel dear is treating really nice, my dearest friends are always beside me, and my parents always support me. but the feeling simply can't get off. it's growing.




seriously, i dont even know what am i typing now. all i can see is the tears in my eyes and the wet table........








when will this stop?

currently at isaac's house using his laptop while he's sleeping.




well well, i should be studying now. but i'm just too in love the built-in cam on isaac's laptop. of cos, i will sure took lots and lots of photos. ^^


presenting...

.a gift for my boy.^^









dear is ZZZ, sleeping.







is the blue toy cute? saw it at action city shopwhile shopping with mummy yesterday. it will walk and say hello and i love you. Ha. hope he like it.


yesterday's shopping was great. me and mum brought a lot of things. as for me, i brought a pair of jeans and shorts, a top and a tiny bag for shopping. As for my mum, a pair of heels and 2 tops.






okiee. i think i should stop here and go study. CYA.




i hate sunday, because the next day is monday. :(

there's something wrong with my brother's computer!! i can't sign in msn, hotmail, friendster and even blogger. so now, i'm currenty using my dear's laptop since he's slping now. ^^




didn't go to school today as i AM very sick. wasn't feeeling very good on sunday. then on monday, i woke up and felt that i might be having a fever. went to see the doctor and then i realise that my temp is 39!! o.0 i'm having flu and cough too. i'm voiceless since this morning. hur~


and and and. the doctor say no PE/sports for me for 2 weeks!! which means, i cannot dance for 2 weeks! oh my godness. that's long!!! i want to dance dance dance. dance will regain my energy back. :( tml there's 2.4km run and i can't run either. sob sob.




anyway, i had rest for 2 days. i'm feeling much better now. i will go school tomorrow! miss me anyone? ^^






i have a new english name!! named by isaac, catherine.